What happens when you don’t cater to your man?

A Letter to an Old Friend

Shared by Amber

I have a question Ladies & Gents…

What happens when you don’t cater to your man?

Recently, I’ve been battling with my personal views and the views of others. Wondering if my past relationships have ruined my willingness to do something so quickly for a new romance? I was the girl who would go above and beyond to please her guy. Buying things too early, answering to his every beck and call, and pushing the things I want to the side to cater to his own.

As I get older, I find myself looking at a guy as if he’s lost his mind when he expects too much and so early. I’m ready to ask him, well what are you doing for me? Who said it was my job to keep you satisfied? What about my needs? Do I not deserve to have my wants met?

I feel as women, the pressure is high for us to keep our man satisfied. This notion that what you won’t do… the next one will. While I do acknowledge to some degree, I have to shake my head when it’s expected for a woman to do everything in her power to please her man but the same isn’t expected of him.

A relationship should be a partnership and not feel like a burden.

Now, I do feel a woman should do for her man as he should do for her also. No, you shouldn’t be tallying what one does because it’s impossible to do everything 50/50. Someone will always put in more than the other.

Am I wrong for wanting to know that the person I’m investing my time in… is worth it? I’m not saying  I’m unwilling to do anything in a new relationship, but I feel it’s necessary to pace yourself. I’m not screwing my face at those who’ve moved at a quicker speed because I’ve been there… which brings me to my current internal battle of emotions.

I recognize his frustrations and acknowledge his feelings. My intentions aren’t to be selfish or inconsiderate to the way he feels.

I want to spoil my guy, make him feel like the king of a castle and give my all with no inhibitions. But, honestly, I’m hesitant. Wonder if I give too much and too fast… how will things turn out?

I see myself as someone’s wife… not a temporary nor forever girlfriend.

There’s nothing wrong with catering to your man. You should show him little things and pique his curiosity. Allow him to see what he has but also leave room for more.

This generation doesn’t hold the patience to put in the work willing to make things last.  No longer are the days of courting and getting to know a person. Instead of holding out and waiting, it’s easier to settle for anyone who gives us a little attention and try to build a life with them.

I want to rid myself of this idea that I have to give my all to someone at once. The door for communication needs to be open, so you both can discuss your wants and desires. All of these things will not be fulfilled but the point that you’ve opened up to one another… you can do these things as time goes on.

Let things ignite for a while… it doesn’t have to burn out so quickly.


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