Heartbeat: Oh, Love… Why So Brusque?
Shared by justwaitdear.
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She so hates love that she found a word to describe its human-like attitude towards her: “Damn LOVE, why do you have to be so brusque!” She turned on the radio and a classic played… “A long and lasting love… Is what I’ve always dreamed of, And when I looked into your eyes, I knew I’d really seen love, A long and lasting love…” Okay, she pretended she did not hear that. Then she tuned in to another station just to be fed with another super classic, “Love is a many-splendored thing…” Seriously? She finally shut the radio off, “alright, I give up.”
Being in love per se is supposed to be a beautiful experience. That feeling, that loved one – everything around you makes you smile when you are in love. It makes the world go round, indeed. You are happy and positive when you are in love. It’s so wonderful that you hold on to the concept of forever. But what if this same love is the one that would bring you to hell? Actually, nothing’s surprising in it. We’ve all had a taste of this bittersweet heaven one way or another. Lucky if you had a long term relationship that you can cherish and learn lessons from. Though it ended, at least you were able to rebuild yourself after a miserable downfall. You could find reasons to continue.
Now how about this: you are the one who keeps on falling again and again? To you love is just so mean. Not ordinary mean but a special type of mean, a brusque one! Love comes to your life and you are lured by it, only that it leaves immediately. And worse is, in that short period, there was not a chance to enrich it. Very brusque – blunt and abrupt. And despite the hostility, you remained hopeful. In some sense, a short-lived love relationship may also be something you can learn from, but that’s a different story if it becomes repetitive and you run the same pattern, blunt and abrupt every time you try your luck with love. Wait, if it’s blunt then it’s not sharp so you are not pierced in the heart, right? Absolutely. It is not that stabbing pain but its evil cousin of being pounded again and again that will leave your heart bruised, beaten black and blue. So where will this take you? What will this turn you into? Will it make you numb? Will it traumatize you and make you distrustful? Will you become a non-believer? Will your faithfulness to true love be just a thing of the past?
If you were bruised once, twice or thrice and still tried again, don’t worry, you’re not a masochist. Maybe love has this sadistic character? No, just kidding. You emotionally invest only to find out that the people you choose to love just come and go. Hell yeah, because it can be trial and error. So even though love had been brusque to you every time for whatever reason, let it be. You are going to be alright. You see, you have healed each time. All that matters is that you don’t stop believing. It will get tired of being brusque and will change anytime soon. It is brusque in nature, after all – abrupt in life’s time scale.
OKAY, HERE’S THE THING: At the last part of my post, it appears that I’ve got a conclusion or even an advice. That’s because I wrote this as a project and was asked to give a positive ending. But since this is already in my personal blog with all my heart in it, my question is: Do you agree that it’s okay to try and try again even after having so many (or quite a number of) failed relationships? Or, would you consider quitting to do yourself a favor, thinking it will prevent you from losing self-respect and let you regain your whole self…
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Check out some of our past Heartbeat stories:
Heartbeat: Is “Exclusively Dating” the New Title?
Heartbeat: Strangers with History
Heartbeat: You Have to Move Forward
Heartbeat: Why I Gave Up on Finding Love: Some Guys Just Don’t Have It
Heartbeat: The Unfinished Conversation
Heartbeat: A Bit of an Odd Story
Heartbeat: Favorite Hello and Hardest Goodbye
Heartbeat: Relationship at Turtle Speed
Heartbeat: Exit 4A – This is Where I Got Off
Heartbeat: Why I Write: A Love Story
Heartbeat: Longing for Another
Heartbeat: Stuck Between Two Women
I think you’ve presented yourself a bit of a false dichotomy here. There’s nothing wrong with trying again after a series of failed relationships, but at some point, you might owe yourself some time for introspection and figure out why you’re doing this serially. Who says that quitting for now means quitting for all time? 🙂
If I were to give this piece a happy ending (frankly, I enjoyed the writing as is), it would be the one where you realize that loving yourself and knowing you’re worth being loved is anything but brusque. Good luck ❤
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I am a new follower, and I love your posts! Very relatable.
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Never give up but it’s ok to take a break. Love, like life itself, is supposed to bring sorrow and pain, before, during and after. But it’s still worth it. Take as many moments as you need to sit by yhe river, dangle your toes in the water and watch the clouds go by while traffic never stops whizzing by behind you in both directions. But never jump off the bridge. For across from that teasing Beacon lies a New burgh. (People from New York State who’ve ever crossed that bridge on I-84 and seen the sign will get the simile).
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Never give up! Love is beautiful. Love is painful. Love is worth it all.
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Thank you for sharing your post, speaking about personal trials is hard. I think when it comes to love, it takes a special amount of bravery to put yourself out there. I’ll echo a bit of what Jenny M. said, simply going into relationships without knowing why the last one failed is setting yourself up for failure.
Perhaps a few questions to ask yourself would be:
1. What are your expectations for a new relationship, does the other person share the same feelings?
2. Who did you fall in Love with? Was it who you thought the other person is, or who they actually are?
3. When you say Love, what do you mean by that.
4. At what point do you know you’re in Love? If it’s during the honeymoon phase, maybe it’s not Love!
While I’m no relationship expert, or a psychologist, it seems a big problem in most relationships is knowing yourself! Many people struggle with this, and when in close proximity to another person who doesn’t know themselves; you stand a greater chance of failing. By having a better understanding of yourself, you have better control of your actions during the relationship. It’s important to point out that knowing yourself isn’t something with a finite end. As you get older, and hopefully mature ☺️, you will adapt new views and values. While this doesn’t bring eternal happiness, it does help you sustain it during those good periods, and you sadness shouldn’t last as long.
Good luck in your search, I’d love to say that it will be better tomorrow, but I can’t predict the future. What I do know is that what you seek is out there, with the right compass you increase your chances of finding it 😃
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Reblogged this on Inked Roses and commented:
Oh love.. Do you quit after feeling the pain or do you keep trying? Or take a break before continuing your search? Well written, interesting read.
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